A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our PearlHarbour , get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour , it was the Japanese".
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship,not me."
"Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same." the Chinese replies.
(This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain )
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you fall asleep I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time that I’d see you walk out the door, I would hug you and kiss you and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time I heard your name lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play it back for days.
If I knew it would be the last time to spare an extra minute or two, I’d stop and say “I love you”, instead of assuming that you know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day . . . . Well, I’m sure you’ll have many more, so I’ll let this one slip away.
For surely there is tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
And we’ll always get a second chance to make everything all right.
There will be another chance to say our “I love you’s,” And certainly there’s another chance to say our “Anything I can do”’s.
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I’d like to say how much I love you, I hope to never forget That tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today might be your last chance to hold your loved one tight.
So if you’re waiting for tomorrow, why not do it all today? For if tomorrow never comes, you will surely regret the day That you didn’t take the extra time for a smile or hug or kiss. And were too busy to grant someone what turned out to be their last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today and whisper in their ear. Tell them how much you love them and that you’ll always hold them dear. Take the time to say “I’m sorry”, “Please forgive me”, “Thank you” or “It’s OK”, And if tomorrow never comes, you’ll have no regrets about today.
